It has been in interesting, difficult, and trying last 2 months. Harder than any other I have experienced. Just admitting that is hard for me due to my intense need to not ask for help and do things on my own. As a mother of 5 very young children, days are long, rather repetitious. kinda like a hampster on a wheel many days. with one or two it was pretty easy to get up and go and mix up the days, but when there are 5, there are just too many schedules to keep, so much that must get done in a day and expecially during the winter days that are just harder for children this age. therefore, days are harder on mom too.

But more than that, the pressures of raising happy, healthy, well adjusted, spiritually sound, well-mannered, empathetic, socialized, independent learners is pretty daunting at times. Any of you who have children over 2 years old, know full well the ebb and flow of children's behavior. there are weeks/months of perfect children that you just praise God that you have been shown such mercy that despite you, your children are actually going to grow up sane and somewhat respectable. then, as most of you know, there are those weeks/months that you seriously wonder what God was thinking when he intrusted YOU with these children. I often think there must be someone more capable out there!!! Just so happens that as i have been struggling the last 2 months, my children are in the in not-so-good-stage and have been acting out. as one mom put it last week, in a regular home a child goes through a stage and it's over, in your home, a child goes through a stage and it is immediately followed with 3 others going through the same stage!!! she understood the difficulty in it. however, that no longer makes me feel any better. we have a very anti-large family culture here and it is interesting the remarks people will make. after a while doubt begins to creep in your mind. that doubt turns to fear, sometimes anger, sometimes even depression. As a mom you are constantly aware of your children's needs, fears, and struggles. that alone is difficult as you wade through the heirarchy of needs all the while wondering...am i doing enough...and more importantly am i doing it right? no one does it right all the time i realize, but unfortunatly we mother's never stop thinking it is possible. that standard of care in my home has been the brunt of my struggle these last few months. i feel i am never enough for them. it interesting correlates with my relationship with the lord...i rarely feel i am doing enough or am good enough for my God. He assures me i am and in Psalms even tells me He sings hymns over me! i love that!

But as i have spent time reflecting the last few days over this, i have come to realize that i never will be that exact person i have dreamed up in my head. i will never do all that i, personally, think i need to do for my children. and i will never, ever, see my myself as good enough to be their mom...unless I do so through the eyes of Christ! I am a perfectionist by nature, so this predicament is no surprise. i am just realizing that most all of us moms go through this at some point. that point where you realize..."WOAH....i am totally responsible for these kids. God has entrusted my husband and me with this enormous responsibility and i am wondering....hey...am i up to the task?" I was listening to a sermon last week from a guy in florida and something hit me that is unfortunatley obvious, yet you needed it to be resaid really bad! he was talking about how every single person has their own limits as to what they can handle. what i can do with 5 young children someone else may not be able to handle at all...yet another with much more grace and mercy than i could ever do. yes, God can fill in those gaps, but ultimatley we are all made differently. i have a friend who can not handle more than one activity at one time. she can't handle my house at all. i have another who does more than i could ever dream or even want to do and probably thinks i am a wimp! but i love them both! we can encourage each other differently and i like that. The bible says that "i can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" ( Phill. 4:13). I will not do them all well, i will fail miserable at some, and much of the time i am learning i will need help along the way. there is no telling how many times God is going to put this in front of me to learn the lesson that it is ok to need adn ask for help. there is no failure in that. as a matter of fact i believe fully that we take away other's blessings when we deny them the oportunity to help us because God has put people in our lives to bless us in just that way....just when we need it.

i was reading today in James 1:5 he says "if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously without finding fault." that is the part i struggle with...without finding fault. then it goes on to say that if you ask and doubt you basically can not expect the lord to give you anything. that is where i get really hung up. i am a doubter...am i good enough...doing enough...strong enough...? I pray that you are. i pray your resolve in asking the Lord for what you need grows stronger and deeper. i pray that God reveal to you today how much He truly wants to give you all you could ever ask or imagine...

Elias is 8 Months Old...

Elias is 8 months old!!! i can't believe it! we are so in love with this baby. he has learned so many things this last week that it is unbelievable. he can now say uh-oh, play peek-a-boo, say mama, hold his bottle, feed himself biter biscuits, dance, clap, more teeth, the list seems endless for this little guy. he still has no desire to move. i think he will scoot instead of crawl. so far it looks that way. although...he is in NO hurry for sure. so here are a few snap shots of us outside yesterday. he adores being outside and has since his birth. he becomes even more docile outside than he is inside! he just zones out. a few videos will follow.

Elias Plays Peek-A-Boo...

elias won't stop playin peek-a-boo and we love it! when he is sitting he leans all the way over to the ground then pops up...since he was in his excersaucer...this is the version he has of it here. stop music at the top to the right...just press pause.

Elias and Makenna...

for some reason Elias is enamored with Kenna. She can make him laugh like no other! this particular night we were all having dinner and he just kept laughing at her for about 5minutes straight! we caught on camera the last few seconds! he had even stopped looking at her because he was laughing sooo hard. the best part is that he is out of breath at the end...just pause music at the right.

Elias says "Uh-oh"...

Today Elias was sick. He has a really snotty nose, lots of drooling- for today he recieved his second tooth, he learned to clap and say "uh-oh". i was so excited! he is growing up so fast. i hate that part. even kenna says everyday, "mommy, i dont want him to grow up." He is a light. so happy, so content, so easy to get along with. I love my time with him. He learned to pat-a-cake last week, and he also says mama, but does not use it in context of course. he even has said "Mom!" rather infatically today. that part i could do without. even though it sounded as though he said it oh so appropriately! enjoy the growth of our littlest Homeier...just pause the background music in the right hand corner of the page adn scroll to the middle.

American Idol Presents Isabella...

Isabella got to singing one night and wouldn't stop! she sang for over an hour and a half. the only stipulation was that she would sing, i would record, then she would come watch it. we did this over and over for an hour and a half! she was sooooo cute! however, most of the time she sang this very loud, completely not english made up words in a monotone voice that just cracked us up! She also had stipulations on the lighting and her stage. she had to have only one "spotlight" on her over the fireplace, and she had to be on stage alone. she got so frustrated over the boys interrupting her during her last song, she just ended the song abruptly. she is too cute!

Kimberly Smoot and Makenna...

We were so blessed the Kimberly Smoot took some photos of kenna last week. She did a fabulous job. Kenna did great too. an hour and a half and kenna was still smiling at the end. that was about an hour and 15 minutes more than i thought she would last. There were many more we liked even better, but these were the ones she put up on her website so that is all i can get to show you. The best part was the mommy date she and i went on all day after that! we had so much fun. i love being alone with kenna. she is a blast! It was really sweet that everything she kept seeing she would say that her brothers would like or somehow relate it back to her siblings. i love that they are so close.

Straight Hair Equals Straight Attitude...

Any one who knows us probably knows how much trouble Kenna has with doing her hair in the morning. It is common for each day to start with a meltdown over having to spray and comb her hair out. Well, i suddenly got a brilliant idea the other day...let's straighten it and see if the crankies go away!

Not only did she adore it...she became a new little girl. so far...10 days...of perfection! it is as though not going through the so called torture in the morning sets the stage for a pretty good day. not to mention it is gorgeous. Everyone loves it! She has quite a sweet presence lately. Her first response was "will my daddy still think my hair is beautiful?" it was soooo sweet. she ran to his arms when she saw him and he assured her he loved her hair both ways...i love a little girl's dependence on her daddy!
she had to try out her quitar with her new do.

Fashionista...

Isabella dressed herself today. she specifically asked for her dress with stocking, put on cowboy boots, a way cute (very good bargain buy) coat, and her hat! My little girl who used to eat cigarette butts, dirt and bugs has a fashion sense....WHO KNEW!

Teeffers...

Elias finally got his first tooth this week!! He is my first kid to actually have a hard time with it. this process did not phase my other 4. but this one stopped eating, woke up in the night...cried a lot (considering he doesn't really do that)and then....viola! kinda a funny looking picture, but the milestone is caught on film!

Playdate..or stare date...

Elias had a playdate with Alex last week. however, mostly what they did was stare at each other. it was quite amusing to see them interact...or not interact. Elias is plenty used to kids...just not really any his size!

Elias had his first toy taken away from him. Alex is 2 months older than elias so he is much more active. He took pride in his conquering his attained prize as well he should have....he is supposed to want it. elias didn't care much...he sees this kind of thing all the time. his time will come all too soon...he will be rippin those toys outta his brother's hands in no time!

Alex seemed to have a fascination with Elias's mouth. It was great! he just kept putting his fingers in his mouth...i think we have an orthodontist on our hands...

"wait...just one more check up!" OK...

i love this pic! they seem to say.."i'm good...you good? yeah...i'm good. ok. carry on then."

David and Nancy...

our favorite friends...David and Nancy came to spend new year's with us this year. they live in florida so it was quite a trek! we love them so much! we all went to st. louis for the evening...ate at the cheesecake factory then watched some movie...don't even rememeber! Just love that they were there...and this was the only picture i even got.

A Guitar Band...

Isaiah and Makenna were making a band and playing guitars together. first they "wrote " their music on papers and pretended to look at it while singing. it was really cute. probably more so to the parents than to the rest of the world...but cute nonetheless...

Guacamole!!!!

Little did any of us know that my brother, Lane was a songwriter/singer, etc. He wrote a song called Guacamole and we all love it!! the kids have a ball singing it, however, they do not know what it means. I am surprised i even let them listen to it...but it is sooooo much fun!!!enjoy. turn the background music off at the bottom of the page before pressing start...It's worth it!

Christmas 2008...Together Again!!!

For the first time in about 14 years, my family was all togher for Christmas. It was WONDERFUL!!! My mom, dad, brother and his whole family came for 4 days and we had a great time. Amber is 17, Skyler 11, and Cooper 7! That means we had 8 children here and it was loud for sure! If i acutally knew how to upload these pictures in the order I want, these might all make some chronological sense. However, I never seem to get it right! so...just read the captions and it will be in random Christmas order....

This is Amber and I right before they left. Thanks to her ipod we did not get too much time together to reminisce, but finally the last night she was there she, dad and I stayed up til 2:30am talking. sure wish we would have done that sooner! I miss her already!
A family pic. kinda blurry. I found out the camera had been on the wrong setting for the last day and a half they were there...not too many good pics.

me, mom and Lane

Ian took a particular liking to Amber. He affectionately called her "Hamper". She loved it! we all did. he was soooo cute with her. He would come up to me and say, "mommy, i kissed hamper and she smiled!"

Cooper and MamaLane sharing a grandma moment...

Isaiah being his usual tumbling self. there was a ton of wrestling going on this week! my kids will never be the same...

the festivities are just not over til we get a pic of dirk sleeping...which is never hard!

Grandma got the kids a ball pit, and Auntie Na got them balls to go in it! They all thoroughly love it! Elias too, unless you lay him in it...then he is scared to death!

Elias and Kenna

My sister-in-law, Debi and me at the mall

my brother, Lane and me.

I will spare you all the details of the presents, but they sure looked cute in their new dress up. Isaiah is a regular ol' Maverick! He has worn it for clothes the last 4 out of 5 days!

this was my feeble attempt at getting the kids to all look at the camera at the same time! HA! like that was really gonna happen!

MamaLane made each of the kids aprons. each day is a different leader day in the kitchen (to avoid the constant children at your legs begging to help). Bella is here modeling hers....too cute!

you may remember Bella asking santa for cereal for Christmas....well, he delivered!

The living room before all 8 children woke up...

...AFTER...

Poor, sweet Bella has had to be off her ADHD meds for a few days now, due to some medication switching we are doing. Someone forgot that and turned thier back on her for one second...the result!!! By her face I think she knew what just occured!

mommy and Elias

this was soo cute. the kids were watching The Polar Express and I was in the office. i came around the corner to see them all 4 standing right in front of the tv saying "I BELIEVE...I BELIEVE" to the tv so that they too can hear tbe bells that santa rings....it was priceless...

The blazing saddles tradition continues...

Isaiah took a picture of mommy and daddy. these are a rarity! i can't wait til these kids get older...I'm gonna employ them to be official photographers!

Breakfast With Santa...

This morning Boogaboo took us all to Breakfast with Santa downtown! It was so great! Dirk told all the kids that he called Santa and asked him if we could have breakfast with him that morning. Of course they believed him and off we went! We don't play Santa up huge at our house, but we do incorporate him into our celebration of Jesus and giving to others. And this guy was a wonderful Santa! The kids has a ball and it was very good food. They had that place all decked out. First the kids each presented their letters to santa telling him one thing they wanted for Christmas ( we were the only ones that did that!).

then they each got their turn...kenna wants a drum (been asking every day since sept. 8!)

Ian wants an orange tractor (strangely enough without us knowing that that is exactly what my dad bought him!..boy did we luck out there )

Isaiah wants an electric guitar! (also been asking everyday since sept. 8 )

Elias didn't want anything and Bella was too scared to sit, but wanted Santa to know that she wants cereal...yes, cereal!

They even had a knee high buffet so the kids could make their own breakfast. it was soooo cute!

Boogaboo and kenna giving a toast to a Merry Christmas!